Friday, December 3, 2010

Famous Amos Cookies

Disclaimer* I do not own Famous Amos Chocolate Chip cookies nor any of it's affliates.

Imagine eating a big bag of delicious Famous Amos chocolate chip cookies. Every piece is a definition of perfect synthesis between cookie and chip. A mixture of rich and sweet, with a hint of bitterness from each little chocolate chip spaced apart at just the right amount and blended in harmony with the chewy cookie surrounding them. It's a moment of absolute bliss as you place the cookie into your mouth and chomp down on it's mostly crunchy outer crust and discover the buttery goodness of the hidden chocolate chips within. All of a sudden, the urge to share this amazing sensation overwhelms you. You find your nearest friend, pull out a cookie, and begin pressuring two opposite sides of the cookie in order to snap it in half... but woe is you. The cookie explodes in a frenzied firework of crumbs and chocolate, you can only scream "NOOooOOooOOoooooO!!!" as you watch the chunky and delicious remnants of the cookie shoot toward the ground like meteors. Your friend stares at as if you were insane. Damnit. That was a waste of a perfectly good cookie.
Attempt #2 Frustrated. You take out another cookie and and proceed to split it in half once again. BAM! The new cookie explodes too. What. The. Hell?
Attempt #3 and Attempt #4 fail too. Something is starting to smell fishy... (entirely possible because of the fish over there ------------------------------------------------------------------------> )

You grab another cookie, but instead of breaking it into halves with your fingers - this time, you employ your front teeth in nibbling at the edges of the cookie, working your way slowly to the middle with the precision of a surgeon. Crack! The cookie snaps in half just a few seconds in. You pick up the separate pieces and take a look. What. The. Eff? IT'S HOLLOW?!!!

That's right. Famous Amos has hollow cookies!! (At least nearly half of the cookies in a regular snack pack do)

A spot check on 3 random bags resulted in
Bag #1 : 4 Cookies hollow and 4 Regular
Bag #2 : 4 Cookies hollow and 4 Regular
Bag #3 : 5 Cookies hollow and 3 Regular.
(To classify a hollow cookie, it must have a very large and noticable cavity in the center of two halves, or just crumble out right from the center of the cookie when splitting, due to the cavity.)

What could this mean?!! Are we being cheated out of fully formed cookies?!! RAGE!!!!!

Sample from bag #2

Another sample from bag #2

The remnants of bag #3 after testing. Note the large amount of crumbs from broken hollow cookies, and the several cookie halves that contain large cavities in the middle.

So. Be warned. Famous Amos are like land mines. You never know whether or not they will explode. All you can do is hope.

~ Comfy Pillow

P.S. This was written for the lulz. lol.

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