Thursday, November 18, 2010

How to be EMO

Hey guys, to all you wrist-cutting people out there, check out this comprehensive guide to being emo! Understand that 90% of the stuff I say in here I don't actually mean, so please don't flip out, be offended, or go into "!@#$ SH!T UP" mode. Don't forget, emo guys have feelings too! (If you didn't know already, emo=emotional) thanks!

Rule 1: Wear black. ALL THE TIME.
From now on, black should be your best friend. Black shoes. Black jeans. Black shirts. Black jackets. Black...well you get the point. Basically, your skin should go from being white, yellow, rainbow, or whatever-to black. No lie, last year literally every single piece of clothing I owned was black, except for one white t-shirt that was buried deep in my closet, under all my black clothes. ANYWAY point being that pretty much all you wear form this point on should be black. Besides, black is attractive ;D

Rule 2: Listen to the appropriate music.
As an emo kid, you should try listening to what most all emo kids listen to-heavy metal, hard rock, and of course, screamo. A few great bands you might want to listen to are: Senses Fail, Disturbed (they had a new album just a few months ago, and it's freaking beastly), Slipknot, The Drowning Pool, All That Remains, Avenged Sevenfold, and Breaking Benjamin. These bands are just a drop in the bucket, I was just kind of naming them off the top of my head.

Rule 3: Have emo hair.
As far as I'm concerned, every single emo person I have met has had pretty long hair that is enough to cover his/her eyes. My hair is almost long enough to cover my eyes now, but my parents hate my hair like that and they keep forcing me to cut it -.- Most people decide to have long hair that sweeps across their forehead, and I know A LOT of people that dye their hair. One of my friends dyed her hair two different colors every single week and she looked like a BAMF. Having relatively long hair + dying it= you looking pretty darn emo.

Rule 4: Feel pain, only pain, and nothing but pain.
In the words of my friend Brian: "I feel pain so much that I don't even feel anymore". Yeahh, he's an extreme. Oh, he's also on a cross country team and loves to quote "I don't think, I don't feel...I just keep running". Coming from someone that has to run like 10 miles everyday that's pretty hardcore. I actually don't think it would be a good idea to run around with knives and slitting your wrists and stuff, but it's your choice.

That's a basic nutshell of being emo, but don't forget that people that are actually emo aren't this shallow...most are actually insanely complicated. Now go out there and show everyone your inner emo :)

The entire time I was typing this, I had Disturbed blasting. Disturbed foreverr! >:)


This guide is not meant to be taken seriously... I wrote this just for the heck of it. If I offended anyone by the writing of this - Gomenasai! ("I'm sorry" in Japanese)

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